70th, the end of 2010

2010....

where new chapters of my life begun and new characters found, i can barely recall what i had done in this year if you ask me in large but i'll surely remember them in chunks, overall, it is a good year. and even though 2010 will be was a good year i will still remember the beautiful memories i had captured and stored in my treasure box. my mind...

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write a short entry for this on purpose.

i'm not good at saying goodbyes :')

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so long 2010, u'll be remembered don't worry

hello~ 2011, please be nice to me :)

my fault yea my fault

haha! screw me! i kept on reminding myself that yesterday was elly's n today is nobody's. the whole day i tried to do something and anything NOT related to this topic. eventually, i did actually forget about today but because of this screw moment: i was happily browsing my facebook and then on the side bar, birthday: his name . nice one facebook! you did screw up my plan! hahaha! i cant forget the date. its like it already stuck in my memory FOREVER. please~ i need a break... oh and you know what i did when i realized that today is his birthday? this is the silliest part i think. i TEXT MESSAGE him! *shit!* ''happy birthday! may Allah bless you! have a blast one k'' with a big smiley. hahaha! :'(

maybe some of you will say, whats the big deal? its only a wish. yeah true. its only a wish,but whenever i accidently think about anything related to him, i feel the pain. a stabbing pain. so painful i can hardly breath. you didn't know so shut the hell up!

ok i'm totally not prepared for multimedia paper. scared. enough said.

''i'm just a little too not over you"

bye.

my friend's =)

i stole this from my friend's favorite quotation @ facebook =)

they sound so good

and i desperately need some soul enrichment now..

i'm still in grieving mode yeah and

to be truth i didn't do my study for tomorrow yet..

i just can't :'( serious shit i'm trying hard but i can't

.

i'll share here =)

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"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together"

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"My deepest fear is not that i'm inadequate, but my deepest fear is i am powerful beyond measure, it is our light not our darkness that frightens us the most, we ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

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PLEASE ALLAH..GIVE ME STRENGTH :'(

girls and guys part2

the answer is:

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the girl is head over heels crazy in love with the guy,

while the guy is having a crush with another girl...

the girl is severely heart broken right now

while the guy does not know anything

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laugh! laugh! laugh!

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DREAM...

• last nyte,, i watched SEPI,, it was a very nice movie,, i cried horribly ...
• yeah,, its a 'cerite lme' ,, kaksu rcomend me to watch it
• cerite-cerite sedih yg patut ditengok!
• -> sepi, cinta, pensil, n lots more shes been promoting to me..
• how kabir bakhtiar plan the story is awesome and how the pelakons act were spectacular! the best actor is of course afdlin shauki :)
• my favourite story between dat 3 story is iman's story..although baizura kahar's acting is not really good,, but i found her story is really near to me..
• overall,, good movie it was,, imagine if i watched it at cinema~
• hhmm..totally a blew!! :D

• i dreamt of him this morning...see, i slept late last night, so i'm very sleepy this morning..so when they all(ayah, ibu, alya) had gone to work n school,, i fell asleep again...
• it was only from 8-9 a.m sleep..a 1 hour sleep..but when i woke up..i feel like i was sleeping for ages! like it was part of my life...the missing part of it..
• in my dream me n him(only elly n christina knows him) met in this one wedding of our friend..he never notice me before..never! i think..(it was a secret crush..i like him from the first day i saw him..) but at dat wedding,, we keep on meeting eyes n it feels different..and real..like he was also feeling the same feeling i felt..and it really feel so real..
• so when the wedding was over, i was on my way to my car (already dreaming of getting my license..)when suddenly he called me..
• ''ainur!! ainur kn? erm..kte satu klas kn? u look pretty today.." i just nervously nod,,shyly smile~~ :)
• the fact that he was standing there, talking to me was a real blow to me..what more,, he said i'm pretty?? is it true?? although it was just a dream..i can feel my cheeks hot ,blushing...as far as i know..in dat dream..i was just like me in this real world..still big,not slim, still wearing a tudung, my real self..
• he ask me to join him for a minum-minum anywhere near,, suddenly i'm so scared..mybe it was just a betting his friends and him are plying around..but his face is genuinely honest, i cant stop myself from saying 'ok' ..(i thought it was a great desicion since i will never get that chance in the real world)
• during dat minum-minum moment,,he told me this shocking statement..i remembered it clearly..masih terngiang-ngiang lg tau!
• "i tau u mybe terkejut kn i tbe2 dtg kat u td, tbe2 ajak gi minum, hhmm..i pon xtau..actually..i dah lame suke kat u..u comell sgt..n baik..but i dont know how to bgtau dis thing to u..u know n u see..i'm not a very good guy..u seems so nice..i tkut u x trime i..tp ble tgok lynn dgn alias bahagie td..i x bole tahan diri i..i tkut u pegi kat org lain..will u marry me ainur..please..dont say no.."
• my tears run down my cheeks..i cant believe it..it almost feel like real..almost..n suddenly the scene changed..
• with 'cinta antara kita' song being the background music of dat scene..we were having a sweet moment together..walking at the park, eating together, laughing..and then when he was staring softly into my eyes..
• i was awake~
• still smiling of dat sweet moment..i tried really hard to continue my sleep n my dream..but i cant..

i dont know what is the meaning of this dream

it might be just a 'mainan tidur'

or

mybe bcos i watched SEPI..(he really looks like sein ruffedge in dat movie)

but

i'm happy..eventhough it is just a dream..

at least i had feel those happy feeling being together with him..

even it is just for a while..

its enough,, more than enough~

in real world..i'm still his biggest secret admire..

*menyukai seseorang yang bukan muhrim yg berlainan jantina tanpa si dia mengetahuinye adalah satu jihad*

(somebody told me that)

• p/s : tomorrow,, test jpj..wish me luck friends~

sick n scared :(

i'm scared...i'm not feeling very well~ hope everything will be alright...